Monday, December 23

America is still reeling from the news that Tucker Carlson has been abruptly dethroned from Fox News, the network he has ruled (in terms of ratings) for the past half-decade. While millions of people, including Seth Meyers, are amused by Carlson’s demise, his former colleagues are reportedly not taking the news well—and fearing for their own jobs.

Meyers reported on Monday night that a “sense of panic and fear has apparently set in at Fox News.” According to a Rolling Stone article, many of the network’s other biggest names/mouths are “openly worried about getting fired.”

The article continued, “Management is on the prowl for leakers, and the leakers themselves are dodging’snitches’ by putting fake names in their phone to hide incoming calls from reporters,” which made Meyers laugh.

“Oh my Fod—fake names is so much fun,” Meyers said, before trying to figure out what kind of devious ruse Fox’s top reporters were up to. “Brian Kilmeade definitely has a reporter listed in his phone as Santa Claus,” Meyers speculated, adding that this “definitely will backfire on him when that person calls and he thinks it’s actually Santa Claus.”  ‘Oh my good, good, you got my letter! OK, I want to change the PlayStation to an Xbox and also, I’m not into Funko Pops anymore.”

While Kilmeade embarrassingly demonstrated that he couldn’t muster even half of Tucker’s audience when he filled in for his fired colleague last week, he is far from the only familiar Fox personality who is under fire right now. Meyers went on to say that Maria Bartiromo and Jeanine Pirro are “minding their Ps and Qs” for fear of being ostracized.

“It’s like something out of a horror movie,” Meyers said. “Except that the ax murderer in this film is a 92-year-old Australian man.” And rather than chasing his victims, he simply makes them come to him.”

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