There are times when your ex may re-enter your life after the end of a relationship. And whether this person sends you a friendly text, wants to meet in person, or says he or she wants to get back together with you, you may be unsure how to proceed. After all, do you want to rekindle your romance with this person? Do you even want to see or converse with this person? When you’re dealing with difficult questions like these, it’s important to remember that you get to make the final decision about the role you want your ex to play in your life.
When dealing with an ex who has returned, you have many options, and doing what is best for you is the best decision you can make.
Why do ex-lovers resurface? Before you decide whether or not to engage with an ex who has returned, it’s important to understand why this person has returned in the first place. For example, it’s common for an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend to re-enter your life in an attempt to rekindle the loving connection you once shared.
Exes will sometimes return to show you that they’ve changed for the better, that they’re still in love with you, and that things will be different this time. In other words, many ex-partners return in the hopes of getting a second chance.
Exes may also return in order to make things right between the two of you and to soothe any hurt feelings. For example, if the two of you ended on bad terms or were completely caught off guard by the breakup, your ex may feel obligated to return and apologize and/or set the record straight once and for all.
Be Honest With Yourself
When an ex returns to your life, you get to choose what kind of relationship (or lack thereof) you want to have with this person. That means you must be cautious while also being honest with yourself about whether you want to hear this person out or keep this person out.
After all, because there may be differences between your own needs and desires and those of your ex, you should proceed in a manner that is considerate of your own emotional health and well-being. For example, if talking to your ex will resurface old wounds and feelings of disappointment and loss, it may not be in your best interests to indulge this person.
Ignore Him Or Her
Keeping this in mind, if you’re not ready or interested in conversing with your ex, you don’t have to. While it may appear harsh, you can choose to block his or her phone number, unfriend him or her on Facebook, and/or simply refrain from responding because you are not required to participate in a dialogue if you do not wish to.
After all, your relationship ended, and one of the healthiest and most productive ways to get over someone is to focus on the future and leave the past behind.
Listen To What He Or She Has To Say
You do, however, have the option of speaking with your ex, either over the phone or in person. And, once you’ve fully comprehended his or her intentions, explanations, and potential apologies, you should openly communicate your own needs and feelings to him or her. And once you’ve had this candid conversation, you’ll be able to move forward in a way that’s right and healthy for you.
For example, if your ex wants to get back together but you’re unsure about taking such a big step, maybe the two of you can work together to rebuild a friendship before attempting to enter into a committed relationship. Similarly, if your ex has returned to discuss and even apologize for how things ended, you can use this as a cathartic moment for yourself to find the closure that’s been preventing you from moving on for good in every way.
